The Heavenly Fox Read online

  "This is all wrong."

  In an instant Guan Shi Yin was standing by her side. "Really? What did you expect?"

  "Paradise!" Springshadow said. "Isn't that what Heaven is?"

  "This is it," the goddess said. "Isn't it marvelous?"

  "Well, of course. But why is it the same? I mean, so much like the Middle Kingdom?"

  "What should it be?" the goddess asked.

  "Different," Springshadow said.

  "So you're saying that paradise should be something other than a comfortable place where people enjoy the bliss of their higher natures?"

  "Yes! No! I don't know. It's just that, well, I don't know what I expected or wanted, exactly. I simply know that this isn't it."

  Guan Shi Yin raised an eyebrow. "I must say you discovered the question far sooner than I thought likely, even for a fox."

  Springshadow blinked. "What question? And why 'for a fox'?"

  "The 'Is Heaven All There Is?' question. Though it's not really a question. The only reason anyone has the sense to ask it in the first place is because they already know that the answer is 'no'. And as 'for a fox', it's just that, being an animal, your mind works differently than a human's. Human beings tend to see, not themselves, but an idea of themselves. What they think they are or pretend they are or want to be. For such beings, such a place like this is paradise. They take what they find here and work out a way to fit their idea of themselves into it, so how can it be any less than what they expect?"

  Springshadow sighed gustily. "Pardon me, Immanence, but I didn't understand half of that."

  "Good. It's smoke and mirrors to a fox anyway. You know what you are. You know what you see. And after less than an hour within the gates of the Jade City, you're confused and disappointed. As I said: quick. Sunflash took a full week."

  Sunflash. Springshadow was familiar with the name, of course. He was a legend among fox kind, one of the first to prove that what Springshadow had been taught as a kit was true, that foxes could achieve the state of Heavenly Foxes. He had not been seen in the Middle Kingdom for centuries, but Springshadow's attention wasn't really on him at the moment.

  Springshadow sighed. "You're saying that Heaven is not for the likes of me."

  Guan Shi Yin smiled. "Yes, I am saying exactly that. Yet you're still new enough at being an Immortal that you think this is a bad thing, some failing in you. Quite the opposite, I'd say. Heaven can be as much a trap as any hell."

  "Why didn't you warn me?"

  "Because you wouldn't believe me. Now your understanding has already progressed beyond this place."

  "But I don't understand! Does this have anything to do with that feeling I had when I first transformed? That I was everyone? That everyone was me?"

  "You know it does."

  "But what does it mean?"

  Guan Shi Yin smiled again, and despite the goddess's reputation for compassion, Springshadow did not think it a very kind smile. It was more the smile she herself might have worn just before eating a particularly tasty bit of meat.

  "That's the second question. And you'll have to work for the answer to that one," the goddess said.

  Springshadow was quiet for a while. She finally turned to the goddess and said, "I won't do it."

  "Do what?"

  "Whatever it is you want me to do. I won't."

  "Without even knowing what it is? Why not?"

  "Why should I? I'm an immortal. Why should I accept obligations?"

  Guan Shi Yin smiled that same disturbing smile. "No reason. Unless..."

  Springshadow frowned. "Unless what?"

  "Unless in, say, another thousand years, you can think of a reason."

  The goddess disappeared again. Springshadow wasn't sure if she should be relieved or not, but either way she was alone again, except for all the multitudes of the Jade City. Springshadow felt very much alone indeed.

  For want of a better plan, Springshadow ascended on her cloud again and explored the Celestial City from above. It was, as before, both familiar and new, and so grand and vast and fine that, at least for a while, she was able to forget her disappointment. Her fox nature found her looking for something green that was not simply jade, and after a while she found it — an open park near the center of the city, with trees and grass and many separate, wondrous gardens with birds and flowers in abundance.

  Springshadow bade her cloud to take her to the park, and it settled her in a secluded place near benches of marble, fine woods, and jade. For a little while Springshadow resumed her true fox form, contemplating a little sport hunting mice and bugs under the trees and flowers, but whenever she tried to slip quietly through the undergrowth and bushes she found that her nine tails flared out behind her almost like the broad tail of a peacock, and brushed limbs, dislodged petals, and basically rendered the idea of moving quietly anywhere except the open areas completely moot.

  "What use are nine tails to a fox?!" she demanded of the universe, not really expecting an answer. She got one anyway.

  "You're no longer a simple fox, Immortal One. Forgive my impertinence, but I thought that was the point." The voice was low-pitched and male, but Springshadow saw nothing and smelled only earth and green growing things.

  She looked around. "Who said that?"

  "I did."

  Springshadow used her sensitive ears to get a better bearing on the voice, and once she had a direction, she finally spotted the one who spoke. He was a small man dressed in green robes that blended almost perfectly into the hedge he stood against. He carried a short staff, and his head was large compared to his body.

  "I'm sorry, I didn't see you, Honored Sir. To whom am I speaking?"

  "My name is Hsien Se. This is my garden."

  "I am sorry. I didn't mean to trespass."

  He smiled. "Not at all. When I say that this is my garden, I meant rather that I am responsible for it. The garden belongs to the Jade Emperor, who has decreed that it be open to everyone, so that all the inhabitants of the Celestial City may enjoy it. What do you think of my garden?"

  "It's beautiful. I have never seen a finer one," Springshadow said, and it was the truth.

  "Thank you. One does try to take pride in one's work."

  Springshadow frowned. The man's name was familiar. It finally came to her. "You are a god of plants and growing things, are you not?"

  "I am. I have duties back in the Middle Kingdom as well as here. It does keep one busy." The man's staff transformed into a scythe, which he used to trim a weed from a bed of peonies. In even less than a blink of an eye, the scythe was a simple staff again. Hsien Se leaned on that staff as he studied his handiwork and finally nodded. "It was its own fault, you know. I warned that dandelion not to grow there. I keep telling it, 'a weed is simply a flower that grows out of its place'. It never listens. Tomorrow I'll have to trim it again. Oh, where are my manners? There's a bench here. Please sit and rest yourself."

  Springshadow transformed herself into a human girl again, to take advantage of Hsien Se's kind offer, but it took her a little more effort to get all nine of her tails to disappear. Even so, her human form was the only one where her extra appendages seemed manageable. "I'm starting to feel a bit like a weed myself," Springshadow said, as she finally managed to sit down.

  "You're newly immortal. I can tell. It does take some adjustment."

  "How did you adjust? If it's not impolite to ask."

  "Not at all, but I'm afraid my experience might not be of any use to you."

  "Why not?"

  "Because it doesn't have much resemblance to your own. You are a fox, correct? You achieved immortality by living for one thousand years of mortal time? I would guess that you expended a great deal of effort and sacrifice to achieve this?"

  "Yes," Springshadow said, "though in honesty not all the sacrifices were my own."

  "That's as may be. I, on the other hand, was given very little say in the matter. In the Middle Kingdom, I began my existence as a peasant farmer. My sole distinction was
that I was a very skilled farmer. Others came to me for advice, which they often followed to their advantage. When I died, those who knew me began to pray to my spirit for the same sort of aid. Soon people who didn't even know me were doing the same. Do you have any idea what that sort of prayer and reverence does to a human spirit after a while?"

  Springshadow admitted that she did not. Hsien Se nodded and went on, "That sort of reverence empowers one, like it or not. My inclination was to help, and so, when I was able, I did help. My surviving family at first, but as my power increased so did my sphere of action. Now in certain cults only kings and emperors are allowed to sacrifice to me directly. Not bad for a peasant farmer from Shaodong, true, but mostly the matter was out of my hands. I became a god of agriculture because a god was needed. No one asked me if I wanted the position."

  "But I'm not a goddess. In my early ignorance, I thought I would become one," Springshadow said, and Hsien Se smiled.

  "My point, Lady. You are immortal, true, but in order to be a goddess, you would have to be a goddess of something. A god or goddess has a sphere of influence and responsibility. You do not have such, and I sense that you don't really want one. You are free in ways that one such as myself or the Jade Emperor can never be. In some respects I envy you."

  "But what do I do?" Springshadow asked.

  "Anything you want. In that I do not envy you at all."

  "I don't understand," Springshadow said, even though her fear was that she did understand, and all too perfectly.

  Hsien Se sighed. "Without me, this garden would suffer, so I choose what is best for it with the understanding that my choices have consequences. If you can do anything you want without consequence, then nothing depends on what you do, so one choice is as good as another. If that's so, then why does anything you do matter?"

  "It doesn't, does it?"

  "No, except perhaps in one instance."

  "What's that?"

  "If the choice matters to you. What matters to you, Lady?"

  "I don't know," Springshadow said, and the god nodded.

  "That's why I don't envy you. Sunflash had the same problem."

  Springshadow blinked. "You know Sunflash? What did he do in this situation?"

  "I can't say for sure. He has not been in the Celestial City for ages. He used to come to my garden quite a bit to play with the mice."

  Springshadow blushed slightly, remembering one of her own reasons for coming to the garden. "Do you know where he is now?"

  "I'm afraid not. Why?"

  "You said it yourself, Honored Sir — he had the same problem I do. Assuming he hasn't gone insane and destroyed himself, then he's found an answer. An answer, perhaps, he will share with me."

  Hsien Se sighed. "I do suppose it's possible, though if his absence from the city is any indication, his answer was not to be found here."

  Springshadow smiled her brightest smile. "If I might impose on your kindness for one more question?"

  "Certainly."

  "You don't know where he is. Do you know who might?"

  "The Master of the Hall of Records. There are few matters so insignificant that he would not have some reference to them. Including the location of one elusive fox, I would wager. To find the Hall of Records, fly due west of the Jade Palace for no more than a league. The Hall will be the huge building that resembles a beehive."

  Springshadow thanked Hsien Se and recalled her golden cloud. She flew away from the garden leaving the farming god happily pruning the plum trees with his magic scythe.

  #

  Springshadow followed Hsian Se's directions and found the Hall of Records within minutes. As Springshadow considered the size of the Celestial City, it occurred to her that the Hall of Records must have an important function indeed to be located so near the Jade Palace of the King of Heaven. The Hall itself was exactly as described: a towering bell-shaped edifice with what looked like thousands of separate doors, all in constant use. Just before she descended, Springshadow enhanced her appearance a bit and now wore the form of a Heavenly Maiden, one of the multitudes of sylphs and angelic beings that inhabited the Celestial City. She found a door that seemed no more or less busy than all the others and entered the Hall.

  The clerks in the Celestial Hall of Records didn't look like what Springshadow had come to expect from xiān , as the inhabitants of the Celestial City were sometimes known. In fact, there was something of the demonic about them. Or maybe it was just the fact that they moved so fast, like ants. She soon realized that her disguise as a Heavenly Maiden was a wasted effort. The clerks took no notice of her at all, except to detour around her as necessary, as a stream flowed around a stone or any other obstacle, heedless of its nature except as obstacle.

  The Hall itself was every bit as vast as she had expected and consisted of little save one vast open space containing walls filled to every available surface with cubbyholes or ramps and ladders from the multitude of doors. Each cubbyhole had one or more scrolls placed within. The clerks' function seemed to be to snatch a scroll from its cubby, unroll it long enough to write something with brushes that never seemed to run out of ink, then put the scroll back where it belonged. As a Heavenly Fox, Springshadow had the ability to know what was going on around her, and she used that skill on the clerks and the Hall.

  It's too much too much too much!

  While her ability worked well enough on earth, in this place it was stretched to the limit of her sanity. It was as if billions of voices were speaking at once, and for that instant, she understood and could identify and follow every one. It was too much. She shut them out as quickly as she could, but the experience left her shaken. Even so, out of all the nearly infinite voices, she had been able to ascertain one of use to her: the person in charge. Springshadow moved quickly through the Hall, and in the distance, could just make out a figure seated in state against the far wall.

  He was an imposing creature perhaps nine feet tall, a mandarin with a grotesque face and a black lacquered hat and rich brocade robes of red and yellow. Unlike the clerks, he was barely moving at all, save when one would scurry up to him, bow, ask a question and be answered, then scurry away again. Springshadow bowed in turn as she approached.

  "Forgive me, Illustrious Sir, but I was wondering if you could tell me — "

  "You!" shouted the seated figure, as if he hadn't heard a word she'd said. He pointed into the throng, and in an instant one of the scurrying clerks detached itself from the seething mass that was the rest of the clerks and approached the throne, for such Springshadow took it to be.

  "Bring me the current scroll on the fox named Springshadow," he said.

  The clerk shot away and then hurried back, bearing a large scroll that he gave to the mandarin sitting there, who immediately unrolled it and began studying it closely.

  "You're looking for the fox named Sunflash, it says here."

  Springshadow was so startled that it was several moments before she realized the demon, god, man, or whatever it was, was indeed speaking to her.

  "Yes...yes, Honored Sir. How did you know that?"

  He frowned. "I'm the Master of the Hall of Records, and the information is in your record, of course. Everything's written there, or how else could one keep track?"

  Springshadow blinked. "Everything?"

  "Right down to the grasshoppers you ate when you were a kit. Whose tiny souls still cry for vengeance, by the way."

  Springshadow had a sudden vision of every creature she had eaten appearing at her own judgment as witnesses for the prosecution. She felt a little dizzy, which the man on his throne apparently noticed. "Don't worry. The creatures you ate were in turn paying for actions in their own previous lives. As your eating them was part of their karmic obligations, they won't count against you. Though they still do complain."

  "But is it really necessary to record everything?"

  "When a person dies, that person's soul goes to judgment. If Lord Yama, King of the Dead who judges the dead does not have proper
records, how can any soul be judged correctly?"

  "But I'm immortal now!"

  "Which means that your record will be much longer, exceeding one scroll. More work for me. Fortunately, except for the citizens of the Celestial City, there are not so very many of your sort. Now then, to business — Guan Shi Yin has asked that I show you consideration, and so I shall."

  "She read my scroll, too?"

  "The Goddess of Mercy knows what is necessary for her to know, within her sphere of concern. I had nothing to do with it."

  "Why would she want to help me?"

  "I cannot say unless I pull her scroll, and as that annoys her, I try not to do it. As a general rule she's concerned with everyone. It's what she does. Now then — you wish to know where the Heavenly Fox known as Sunflash can be found?"

  Springshadow decided she just wouldn't think about what the Master of the Hall of Records was telling her. It was too confusing, and she was having enough trouble keeping her mind on her goal. "Yes, please. Is he alive? Where is he?"

  "You!" shouted the Master of the Hall of Records, and pointed again. Within moments yet another scroll — a very long one — had been presented to the mandarin, who glanced at it and replied, "Yes, Sunflash is still alive. He is currently in the Hell of Hungry Ghosts."

  "The Hell...?"

  "Of Hungry Ghosts. Yes."

  "If he's alive, what is he doing in that hell or any other?"

  The Master of the Hall of Records frowned. "That is actually a good question. I'd like to know the answer myself." He studied the document again, and for the first time since she'd approached him, he smiled. "Interesting."

  Springshadow found her patience wearing thin. "No doubt, but will you share this interesting information?"

  "It says here that he's gone to the Hell of Hungry Ghosts to wait."

  "For what?"

  "For you."

  (())

  Part 3

  Springshadow entered the Hell of Hungry Ghosts under the guise of Guan Shi Yin. She shone with a golden light and wore robes of purest white.

  "That disguise is not necessary, you know," said a voice beside her. "No one here cares who you are."